THE FOLLOWING WAS WRITTEN ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO.

Since then,

The Steelers won the Superbowl, The Penguins won The Stanley Cup and the G20, 

20 Financial Leaders from different countries, came to Pittsburgh.

Why?

I haven't a clue. 

"I'm sure that I could be a movie star, if I could just get out of this place."

This Plan was presented to several men.

They didn't think it would work.

www.twitter.com/cristinellaa * www.myspace.com/cristinamariemusic * www.myspace.com/stinabanina * 724.513.5052 * FREE PIZZA

Dear Potential All-Starz:

Hello! Let me start by saying that you boyz BLOW me away. Seriously. You know me by now, and I do not blow smoke. I have searched long and hard for the right combination of musicians of your caliber and all the while, it was right in front of my face in The Church of Rock@ Charlie Murdoch's. My appreciation for your musicianship lies greatly in the FACT that you are all so versatile that you could probably and WILL pull off anything, musically and comedically. That is UNIQUE. As you know, in this business, it is UNIQUE that sells.

The concept of Cristinella and The All-Starz is a feat that has not been attempted and will be MAGICALLY DELICIOUS. I have played with many cover bands and have watched many other cover bands with female fronts fall apart. It is my mission, and social responsibility to end this travesty. My personal philosophy is that a band is a band, meaning there is no ONE star. Sure, I could go find some musicians, put them together, pray that they clique and call it a back-up band. Cristinella and The All-Starz is an ensemble effort, as the product involves musical excellence, piety and, of course, low brow humor.

It is FACT that a female in a band is a money-maker. It gives the guys something to look at and adds some mystere. Cristinella and The All-Starz is not about Cristina Aloe. This concept is about musical excellence combined with theatrics, thus resulting in a)proof that a woman can hang with the boyz and not resent them and b) rejuvenation of the music industry, starting right here in The GOLDEN Triangle, lol. The Latina Pop Princesses both just had babies and Britney went crazy. As a professional singer/actress/dancer, my intention is to be Cristina and the time is now. I come from a strong European background and since Pavarotti kicked it, as musicians, we no longer have to aspire to the God-like sounds of Operatic Voices in order to justify the European influence on American music. It is time to let loose.

History tends to repeat itself, and so it has. A young man we know as Michael Buble, started the growing trend of bringing back the standards and oldies, but goodies and making them accessible to younger generations. After he established himself through his new renditions of Sway With Me and Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Yes, the Queen song), Mr.Buble went on to execute originals, thus resulting in a Grammy, or two.

Naturally, someone else comes along and approaches it a little bit differently. His name is Matt Dusk. He just played CLUB CAFE this past September and has now been picked up by a major label. Apparently, word got out about this new trend and a guy in Europe did the same thing. This young man's name is Patrizio Buanne. Patrizio has international fame with huge followings in Australia, South Africa and Japan. His first album was called The Italian, but, it's kinda funny, no one in Italy has ever heard of him. Strange, huh? Anyway, Mr.Buanne performed twice this summer together and because he has a sugar-mamma in Spain, bought out my former musical director and band.

Good for them. I am very happy that the man who baptized me into the Catholic Church on an altar in front of Jesus, who died for our sins, on the Cross, chose money over producing his Godchild. Guess who? Me. I have come to terms with the situation and THANK THE HEAVENS above for the wise words of a man we all know and love, I got better, not bitter.

So you are thinking, WTF does this history lesson have to do with anything, right? Okay, remember the RAT PACK? They were some damn cool guys, right? They stuck together. They didn't chase women, the women chased them. They were just cool dudes, almost as cool as JFG. The RATPACK is re-forming before our very eyes. Think back and remember the names of those men who made musical, theatrical, comedic, sexual history: Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop. Those guys will always be remembered for what they gave the world through entertainment.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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For other uses, see Rat Pack (disambiguation).

From left to right: Peter Lawford, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis, Jr. and Dean Martin.

The Rat Pack is the nickname given to a group of popular entertainers most active between the mid-1950s and mid-1960s. Its most famous line-up featured Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis, Jr., Peter Lawford and Joey Bishop, who appeared together in films and on stage in the early-1960s.^[1] Despite its reputation as a masculine group, the Rat Pack did have female participants, such as movie icons Shirley MacLaine, Lauren Bacall, and Judy Garland.

Take note of the highligted portion of the excerpt above. Yes, there were girls. Unfortunately, this particular reference fails to mention Rosemary Clooney, who made famous Come on a My House and Mambo Italiano, amongst other hidden gems of musical genius from a female. Anyway, back to the point. Thus far, only the males have come forth to re-ignite the passion that was given to the world from the antics of the original RatPack.  So where, you ask, are the girls? You got her, boyz. There are currently two of us:Cristina Marie, aka Cristinella, aka Cristina DelSignore (depends on the medium), trained musician/singer/actress/dancer/comedienne/rebel and the lovely, Ms.Giada Valenti, Venetian-born money, I mean, singer/songwriter. Giada has grace, Cristina has guts. The powers that be, I am afraid to write their names, you know who, I'll write their initials SG and PR are watching closely.

As an aside, there is a historical tie-in between the RatPack and the JFK situation.

Back to the point. Actually, that's enough for now. Take the time to digest what you have just read. As we speak, Mr.Buanne is recording his 3rd album and IS NOT on good terms with SG and PR. WE ARE. I have all the arrangements and you guys got the bad-ass feel to work it.

You may not know this, but I am also a huge fan of Weird Al Yankovic, and actually, I'm kinda like a female Jack Black/Ashton Kutcher. Under the gracious guidance of a very wise man, I have begun to let out of my system the corrupt thoughts that the world thinks only men possess and have started writing. Im gonna be honest, so far, they suck, but some of them are fucking funny. At least I get a kick out of it. The saying goes, if the comedian doesn't think it is funny, the audience will not either. My intuition tells me that you boyz are just the right group to escalate the FIRST female to attempt something akin to Punk'd (it was a show on MTV where Ashton Kutcher married Demi Moore, I mean, played pranks on people. Kinda like JackAss and Crank Yankers.

Okay, I can't write anymore. I want to hear the song Joey wrote, what's it called? You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact sometimes....He did write that, right?

I wait in anticipation of your thoughts. My heart tells me you guys are THE ALL-STARZ and that we are going to put Pittsburgh on the map as The GOLDEN TRIANGLE and home of GOOD, LIVE MUSIC. The casinos are coming, boys. You know what that means.......It's gonna be better than Vegas cause we won't have to go through airport security to get to work. If you don't already know, I do have a 2 year old daughter and Pittsburgh is where my family is and will always be my home-base. I know the work that has to be done in order to secure the future of the LIVE MUSIC SCENE in Pittsburgh. We are going in clean and coming out clean, with a lot of money, as fast as possible.

In closing, THANK YOU for inspiring me and teaching me. Everytime I watch the show, I learn something new. I truly am blessed to have been baptised into The Church of Rock. I recently made my First Communion and now, it is time for me to make my Confirmation.

THANK YOU!

"The House Band at Charlie Murdoch's is tighter than any pair of Jordache Jeans ever worn in the 80's."
~Cristinella~

 

THIS PIC IS FROM UNA BELLA FESTA.

THE DRESSING ROOMS ARE AMAZING. 

THANK YOU.

HOWEVER....

When I am not on stage, backed by the most amazingly gifted musicians who treated me with the respect I earned a long time ago and was afraid to command from men who try to scare me into submission, until recently, U2....there is a new venue for musical acts and comedy acts and eeeeeww.....i hope that those messages that one lady left Peppino on HIS MySpace were in jest. They were, right? Anyway, that Venue is right here, on the internet. You can act, sing, and with photoshop, you can probably make yourself dance, too. some people actually really are funny, too. like they make me laugh, and i don't laugh at anything that is funny. lol.

          Aside from Performing, I have been privileged and deeply honored to have made a contribution to the Social Media Revolution. Shout out to @jpostman who encouraged me and shout out to my daughter, as she is the reason I continue to fight for the change of mentality so needed by people who are in positions of power, like Family Court Judges...


 As a Mother and Artist, the time I spend on the internet is part of my job.


Studying human reactions and figuring out how New Media effects or in some cases, affects, social functions, economic fluctuations, cultural integration and even what time Jay Leno appears on television: Primetime.

When presented to those who are resistant to change, my work may appear to be insignificant. Even I thought so, until I realized that Barack Obama meant what he said when he said CHANGE. Cool. So, now we Mambo for Obama. Papa loves Obama. Papa even has started exercising. Or so he says. I've never seen the 8AM repeats of MONK on whatever channel the Silver Sneaker program promotes. My sneakers are red, anyway, and they have holes in them. I've had them since I was 16 and they are a reminder to me that as an artist and a mother, it is my job to laugh and play.

Remember when you all thought MySpace and Facebook was what slackers did because they didn't want to work "real" jobs? I think @db and @ev are doing pretty good with Twitter. They even are making a movie about Facebook. I wonder if there will be any cross post cameo's.

Social Media is an art. It takes a bit of experimentation, but practice makes perfect.

Combining communication with high tech technology, internationally, has revived the wonder of possibility. Throw in a dueling piano bar and you have basically outdone Disneyland on the Fourth of July.

MySpace really was the beginning of a tremendous revolution and resurrection of the Spirit with which this country was founded. I have been discouraged from telling the truth about my experiences in experimenting with permutations of music, theater and the World Wide Web by the exact same man who told me that truth is the fastest shortcut in the Universe, and to continue creating internet art.

We need to reflect on the courage shown by many in the 1950's who left Europe to make a better life in America. Somehow, along the way, those baby boomers got a little too greedy and screwed a few things up. For example, Grease. Broadway is practically gone. Why? They turned to quantity rather than quality. How cheap can I produce something and how much money will people give me for tickets. Hard workers are hard to come by and college degrees are expensive.

Those people, like my Grandparents, had a dream. It has taken about 40 years to remember that dreams do come true and that in order for those dreams to come true, someone had to jump on a ship. The Queen Mary, actually. Oh, and Billy Joel, you should know that it is true, Catholic girls start much too late.

I read somewhere that Disney was rebuilding Tomorrow-land. Maybe Prince Charming does exist. Who knows? Free Will is not what we thought. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should. Then, some times, if you had just, oh, nevermind.....

Moving on.

President Barack Obama shares with this country a mixture of many cultures in his heart and soul. He really actually is a Rockstar because he is consistent in moving forward with transparency and positive change. He truly is a Global Leader. He has brought Grace back into to the American Culture. Actually, he kind of brought back Culture in general in this country.

They all laughed at Christopher Columbus, or at least that is what Ella sang. Columbus said the world was round, and now, world leaders are actually agreeing that there might be some truth to the whole concept of the power that comes from the circle of life, the human spirit.

It is time that we all accept that thinking inside the box creates chaos, as no one really likes to be in closed spaces for long periods of time. Freedom is about thinking outside of the box. My goodness, even Guiding Light was embarrassed and went off the air. Soap Operas. Who writes those things anyway? Do they get paid? Is that like a job? Who cares, Victor Newman taught me how to conduct business and he is STILL on Young and the Restless. But he is just a character on a show. The concepts and ideas for those scripts, they fall out of the sky, right? How do they get created into a show on television? Must be magic. Yeah. Magic.

Funny how it took a triangle, the city of Pittsburgh, to get the Global wheels rolling. The Golden Triangle: Pittsburgh, PA.

दार Rockstar

Dear Rockstar,

I must applaud your performance this weekend. You gracefully kicked his ass, and set a new standard. I am amazed that your voice held out at that intensity for such a long time.

A good deal of the time I sit there staring, trying to articulate the technique with which you are able to execute near flawless performance weekend after weekend after weekend. Like the song says, the movie goes on and on and on and on and on and on..... I don't know how you do it, but thank you for setting an example and giving me a standard to strive towards excellence.

And having your cousin fill in was one of the smartest moves you have ever, in my history of knowing you, have made. I got to see GFORCE live in THE CHURCH OF ROCK.

How many girls out there know what that means? I do.

Thank you for teaching me.

I go to court again on Monday. David told me he met Gianna Lucia once. Maybe someday she'll get to meet you: Rockstar

I still love you, but that's how you know you love someone. You just do.

Love,
Cristina